TeamAyu Today's Photo No. 335

To clarify, Ayu DOES NOT write these in English. They're scanlations by Deli-chan. ^^

TeamAyu Message No. 222

Alrighty!!!
No. 222 15 May 2008 (Thurs) 11:36 PM


Today, to prepare for the 2 days in Kobe starting tomorrow, I'm fighting this cold virus with all my might thanks to an IV drip & some shots~ (`_')v

I'll meet you all tomorrow with my usual smiling face (*^_^*)!!!!!

I'm working my way up to being in the peak of health! o/~

With the team meeting me & the team seeing me off, and of course everyone kind enough to come to the venue, I'm looking forward to meeting up with everyone, and also today is ahead of time

While I'm very much looking forward to meeting up with the group who greets me, the group who sees me off, and of course everyone who's so kind as to come see the show, I'm gonna get to bed early today and just zonk right out as soon as my head hits the pillow. (Do people still say "zonk right out"?*)
So I'm gonna go do that now.

muzukashii hanashi wa iranai. (I don't need difficult words.)
kimi ga waratte kurerebaii. (You should please smile.)

TeamAyu Message No. 221

That's right.
No. 221 14 May 2008 (Wednesday) 11:17 PM

...what's right?

Well um, during the Hiroshima performances, I came down with a cold. (*facepalm emote*)
Because of that, I couldn't go to Okonomimura (aka Okonomiyaki Village, this place in Hiroshima with tons of restaurants. --Deli), which I always look forward to.
(Maybe things will still turn out okay somehow.)

I'm soooo sorryyyyy (>_<) Everyone in the send-off team, the meeting-up team, and everyone in the venue seemed to me thinking "ayu doesn't look too great....", but it was the number of posts here saying "AYU ARE YOU OKAY~(>_<)???" that made me finally give myself up.

Now now, that's no good.
I am no good!!! I need to be more stable!!!!!

Since perfectly ending the run in Fukui, the cold virus was hidden in my body, and I guess I wasn't thorough enough when I told it to go away!!!!!!!!
Ugh, enough is enough already~.

As I write this entry, I'm in my home with a muffler wrapped around my neck. I looked all mysterious.

Will you be uploading Today's Photo soon, KAZ?

TeamAyu Message No. 220

Hoooootttt~~~~~~!!!
No. 220 5 May 2008 (Monday) 2:57 AM

Nagoya, hot!!!

Nagoya, really really hot!!!!!!!

The temperature may be hot, but I've decided I am still going to be meeting up with everybody. (haha)

For a minute I thought I landed it Taiwan by mistake. < What the...?! (ROFL)
As for the design, it seems tomorrow KAZ is kindly uploading a new one.(^_^)v

Well well, looks like that'll a nice diversion for two days starting from tomorrow. o/~
Also my voice has considerably improved, I'm feeling better~ (^_^)b
Yup!!!


Incidentally, today it looked like I was gonna miss my bullet train, so I and the whole group seeing me off ended up making a mad dash up the loooooo~~~nng stairs at Tokyo Station.
So that was a little bit amusing. (lol)

Luckily, I made it on time (*^^)v




Because~ o/~
I was neveeeerrr o/~ ever alooooone o/~

("itsudemo~
hi~tori ja~ nakatta karaa~")




Goodnight! (^_-) -*smooch

TeamAyu Message No. 219

Whew.
No. 219 4 May 2008 (Sunday) 12:43 AM

Everyone in Fukui's power was just full of unwavering enthusiasm! \(^O^)/

Things went great for two days, but upon returning to Tokyo I came down with a nasty cold, so for the time being i'm taking some down time YO.(=_=)

Because of that, I still have a weak voice but for a different reason YO. (-_-)

But until the shows restart in Nagoya, again & again & more & more It's a reeeeeeaaaaaaaallllly hot couple of days YO. ∈^0^∋ o/~

So on the MY STORY Tour, during the MC in Nagoya (it's on the DVD, right?), I was aaalways yelling, really so full of energy, so somehow I know it'll be amazing this time too~~~~~~~ NE (*^_^*)

Look forward to it, Nagoya!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Muwahahaha...

Ayumi Hamasaki: Light & Shadow... (hard-subs)

For those who prefer hard-subbed versions of videos, here's Light & Shadow... (Ayu's NTV interview from 2004)

You can find the soft-subs a few posts down.

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=YZMRO9VA

TeamAyu Message No. 218

Fukui...
No. 218 27 April 2008 (Sunday) 1:29 AM


Happy-happy Fukui!!!

Everyone's enthusiasm, and power, and encouragement & applause, everything, impacted my heart so greatly that I felt from the first song that I could cry...

Honestly, today, everyone's feelings were overflowing, and for the whole time we were in the venue, right until the end it was amazing!
At any rate, today was amazing!!!!

Tour staff & ayu's staff & the band & the dancers, just everyone who was here today was amazing~∈^0^∋∈^0^∋ o/~
After the end of the show, they had risen to their peak(.)Impressed-


(T.T)(T.T)(T.T)


Ah, I'm too happy, I'm not using very good words right now.
But I wanted to communicate this joy, so that's what came out.

Let's make the show absolutely the best tomorrow too!!!!!!!
Well, we can do it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I mean, it'll succeed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



With that, squeaky-voice me is quietly going to get in the bath & get ready to sleep...



I think I'll have nice dreams (*^_^*)

Nighty-night~ (^.^) *smooch*

TeamAyu Message No. 217

Shop-Promoter Girl.
No. 217 26 April 2008 (Saturday) 1:34 AM


Although I know there are people who already know about it & who've already seen it, I ask that you allow me to mention the beauty parlor "ZACC", where I've been going for the past 9 years~ (*^_^*)

ZACC's Owner, Takahashi, has been doing not only my hair cutting & coloring, but most recently has worked on my magazine shoots, TV appearances, CMs & PVs, all that kind of stuff~.

Despite that, I'm acting as shop-promoter girl for the first time, asking that you visit the Aoyama or Daikanyama locataion of ZACC beauty parlor~.
Going there is quite a nice experience, so if you have the chance everyone, go check it out.

Incidentally, as a follow-up, they seem to be having a campaign where you can get a good deal if you order a haircut to look like me. (I'm going overboard talking about this, haha)
The ZACC website has more details, so by all means go check it out.



Alright alright, I'm done talking about that now.

I've been pretty depressed since this morning.
My voice is still not at all healed, so I'm really anxious about the live shows tomorrow & the day after, and I'm getting nervous...

But even today while I was leaving Haneda Airport and arriving at Komatsu Airport I got to see everyone's smiling faces.
Because of that, somehow my mind was put quite at ease.

When I arrived at the hotel & checked TA, everyone had written so many warm messages, with worries of my voice on their mind.
Because of that, somehow my heart was strengthened.




Sometimes the morals that are part of my personality are strengths, and sometimes they're weaknesses, I've realized.



Yeah.
No matter how much I think about all of this, it can't be helped.
I've already done all I can.

After this..... everyone in Fukui, from your heart I think it would be good for you to be able to enjoy the show.
In this limited amount of time we have, moment to moment, with all your might, always live with care!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

One day, I was able to teach that to everyone.

Today also, for the love that you give freely, I thank you.

TeamAyu Message No. 216

COME ON, DAMMIT!!!!
No. 216 24 april 2008 (Thursday) 7:19 AM

Three days have passed since the second Shizuoka show, when my voice died...

I still have a squeaky voice though, what the hell...

As for that, it seems my vocal chords are damaged----...

Of course I have to ignore the phone.
Every day, really by only writing things down & e-mailing can I complete my work & private-life stuff....

Why isn't my voice better~~~!!!?!?

I have two more days until I need it to come back.

It absolutely, absolutely must heal.

The band & dancers, not to mention all the many staff members, are kind enough to make such a wonderful show, but if my singing, which is vital, can't be relied upon, then there's no point to their hard work!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm sure a miracle will surely happen...

Come on!!!!!

TeamAyu Message No. 215

Aaahhh...
No. 215 21 April 2008 (Monday) 4:13 AM

At the end of the Encore part of today's show, my voice stopped workiiing...>_<...

Around the time I said "Omae dare da?" (lol), I opened my mouth and out came this squeaky girly voice to sing the last song... (-_-)
During dancer introductions, it was this weak granny's voice (LOL)
It's very very well-known among us that the dancer Chisa-chan has the squeakiest voice, but tonight I have surpassed her in that department.(lol)

Since then I've heard that Armageddon (that's Saitou from security) had an even higher voice than Chisa-chan!!!!!! (*_*) I GIVE UP~(ROFL)

But you know, everyone's power in Shizuoka was really so great. So when everyone's feelings called out to me, I wanted to respond to them, and I truly wanted to convey my feeling of thanks by just yelling it out really excitedly.

But regretfully, I couldn't! >^_^< o/~
Because concerts are like living things.
And because we are all humans.
The same moment on the same stage will never exist again.
Each time, the audience can change, the me, the band, the dancers, and even the staff that rise up to the task of putting on the show, each version of us only gets to play the game one time really.
So the concert we put on today was this one, I guess.
It's behind us, it's away from us... d(^-^) Right?

Of course, looking forward to the next show, we'll definitely be restoring it to perfect condition, so we're working on it! As a singer, from now on I'll be devoting myself to perfection & problem solving with professional gusto. ('_')v Yup!

So there's that, but now for a subject change...
This year's tour, with all the news of my 10th Anniversary and my ear, wherever I go the audience's cheers & applause are amazing. Really amazing!!! (.)So Moving-...

I mean it's always been amazing, but somehow this year's tour feels more complete, no matter what the venue, the feeling of love is overflowing.

Everyone, let's give all our cheers, clap our hands, and make the every performance's atmosphere REALLY amazing... (T_T) *teary-eyed*

Aah, I'm likely to really cry, writing like this (lol)
Because everyone's thoughts regarding me have gotten to me (>_<)!!!

And, this tour, everyone I meet & say goodbye to is breaking into cheers!
During all the various events, it seems I can meet so many dazzling faces.
Really, you're all so kind... m(__)m

It's selfish, but the time I talk to everyone, before & after the shows, warms my heart.
Please be more greedy about talking to me!
I'm not very good at talking to shy peoppllle.....(lol)

So yeah. I'm a flesh & blood person too, so I'm not high strung all the time.
But you know, as worn out as I can get, I do wonder what kinds of questions people have, anyway,,,,,,,



All your smiling faces are, as far as I'm concerned, the best energy source after all (*^_^*)

I've only been living squeezing things in at the last minute, so this is a very awkward & clumsy me who cannot yet really become an adult.

Thank you always & forever.... for the many smiling faces & tears that you've given until now, and will give from now on.

I still have a ways to go this 10th Anniversary year, with everyone's help I can continue rise up to my peak~~~~!!
Let's make tooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnnns of good memories!!!!!!!

Alrighty.
Next, look forward to Fukui~~~~~~ (^.^) *smooch*

And again, I promise to make it the best two days ever (^_-)v
Yeah, let's do this!!!!!!!!!! \(^O^)/ o/~

you guys are MY ALL....... `\^_^

Ayumi Hamasaki: Light & Shadow... (first original project; subs only)

Finally, after god knows how long, AMX-Subs' first original project, "Ayumi Hamasaki: Light & Shadow, Despair and Decision at Age 25" (or to most, NTV's 2004 Special Interview), is a wrap! And, after much despair of our own at times, we are extremely pleased with how it turned out.

Right now, we're only uploading the SRT file itself, as many of you have the video already. Deli found a program that will hard-sub the video in a snap, and she plans on uploading it tomorrow. So keep a look out!

For now, enjoy this long awaited project~

http://www.sendspace.com/file/evlg0q
http://www.mediafire.com/?rdwydmgs3b4

Note: Remember, the video and sub files must have the same name and be in the same location to work.

i.e. Ayumi Hamasaki - Special Interview 2004-04-12 NTV.avi
Ayumi Hamasaki - Special Interview 2004-04-12 NTV.srt

TeamAyu Message No. 214

Weider!!!
No. 214 18 Apr 2008 (Friday) 4:00 AM


Have you had the chance to see the new CM?
I'm in a taxi with Mr. Hamada. (^_^)b o/~
It was filmed in Shinjukuuu~.

And, for once, I play the role of an office lady,

But, shooting that day, everyone in ayu's staff,

said ayu was NOOOOOTTT an attractive office lady!!!!!
Sheesh an all-out attack would have been better. -_-;;

Is that bad?
Is the black hair & suit look bad?
The hair & make-up only took 30 minutes, so is it bad because it's too natural looking?

I guess that's how they saw my Office Lady!!! (lol)

But that version of me is shooting a new Weider CM tomorrow, so the Office Lady role I play will come around again. (`_')v prettypretty (`_')v

Everyone, hope that it goes weeellll~!!!!

However,
While I'm acting, I absolutely still want to be a singer. Yup.

Occaaaasionally, I'm naturally grateful to accept the opportunity
to do an acting job like this, and it's fun, but of course,,,,

I am still the me who is a singer!!!!!!!!!!!!

That said, I'm somewhat incoherent right now, but once I'm not sleepy tomorrow, I'll be armed with the actress within~~~~ (~0~)SLEEPY

Goodnight(^.^)smooch*

ORICON article - April 15, 2008

After A Severe Battle, Ayu's 10th Anniversary Single Gets First Place

15 April 2008, 6:00

The conclusion to the dead-heat race for first place on the Daily Charts has unfolded. Ayumi Hamasaki's 10th Anniversary single "Mirrorcle World", with sales of about 146,000 units in its first week and beating "Baka-Character" unit Shuuchishin's self-titled single by a slim margin, has become the first 10th Anniversary single by a female artist to reach the #1 spot. Hamasaki joyfully comments, "I'm thankful to all my fans. I think I'll still be making songs 11 and 12 years from now."

Hamasaki confessed to having lost hearing in her left ear due to an inner ear problem in January, but the first day of her national tour began on Saturday, April 5th. Despite worries of her health condition, Ayu is continuing her life. "Mirrorcle World" has the same release date as her debut single "poker face" (1998), which made its first appearance on the weekly chart on April 21st.

Hamasaki's 10 straight years of Number One singles began with the April 26, 1999 release of "LOVE~Destiny~/LOVE~since1999~." As far as #1 Single records go, Akina Nakamori had 9 straight years of #1s (1982's "SECOND LOVE" until 1990's "Dear Freind"), and Ayu is the winning female artist for this generation. Incidentally, first place overall goes to the male artist B'z who have had #1s for 18 years.

Again, this time, Hamasaki has broken the record of total number of #1 singles for a female artist, which is 30, and this record ties in with the aforementioned number of years with #1 singles, giving Hamasaki two shining achievements.

Having achieved this wonderful accomplishment, Hamasaki comments, "Thank you for giving my 10th Anniversary single the #1 spot! And I'm very glad to hear that this #1 single gives me a 10-year record of continued #1's! These past 10 years have given me many new experiences, so it's been a substantial decade. I am thankful to everyone - everyone in my staff, who have supported me up till now, all of the writers, and to all my fans. I think I'll still be making songs 11 and 12 years from now so please stick around!"

Although the weekly single ranking has attracted so much attention, Hamasaki shows the dignity of a queen.

FEMALE ARTISTS: Consecutive Years With #1 Singles:

1. Ayumi Hamasaki - 10 years (1999-2008)
2. Akina Nakamori - 9 years (1982-1990)
3. Utada Hikaru - 7 years (1999-2005)
4. (tie) Seiko Matsuda - 6 years (1980-1985)
4. (tie) Morning Musume. - 6 years (1998-2003)

source: http://www.oricon.co.jp/news/confidence/53725/full/

TeamAyu Message No. 213

Umm...
No. 213 13 April 2008 (Sunday) 5:03 AM

I want to show you a dream.
It is neverending, and invisible.
I want you to see this kind of dream.

That is my wish...

Show me your smiling face.
Beautiful and radiant.
Even today I go on living,

Just wanting to see that smile...

TeamAyu Message No. 212

Aaaaaah~! P.S.!!!
No. 212 11 Apr 2008 (Friday) 2:06 AM

I had a thought that I forgot (haha) to write about just then,
so I'm back.

Okay, so, for this show (this isn't a spoiler so it's okay o/`)
naturally, the usual Peco & Chiharu & Etsu
have been choreographing & arranging some of the dance numbers. However, my dancers Zin & Subaru, as well as Kayanocchi and others, are doing the choreography & arrangement of dance numbers toooo o/`

In addition, directing the on-screen videos, of course Wataru Takeishi, and also Takahide Ishii, did some extremely good work. But..... what!!!!! Our very own MR. KAZ has achieved his directorial debut, making a few of the videos!

So I really want to give eeeeveryone an impression of everything behind the stage being very lovely & sweet.

Keeping that in mind, I want everyone to get in that mood while watching, and I want everyone to enjoy iiit~ o/`

And I'm going off-topic here now, but on Yoyogi's first day, I saw what looked like a black cloth banner with "SUBARU" written in huge pink characters? I think it was in the stands. The timing of it was really random. (laughing)
If you have the chance to come & show it again, please do!
That's the kind of intrusion I don't mind, do it to your heart's content. (hysterical laughter)

TeamAyu Message No. 211

Thank you.
No. 211 11 Apr 2008 (Friday) 1:30 AM

The third day in Yoyogi is finished, and I kept coming here repeatedly & writing messages but erasing them, writing and erasing.... that's the sort of state I'm in.

Somehow, the more I summoned up my happy feelings to turn them into words, the more they seemed phony, the less genuine the message seemed to be.

But I think I've got it now.

Yes, excessive wordiness isn't needed.
Until now I was worried about appearances.

So.... I just want to say, purely & honestly, from my heart, that I love you all and I thank you so very much.

And also, in regards to me, you don't just agree with everything I do, sometimes you've been giving honest but harsh opinions, and I thank you for that.

Just as I was saying at the beginning of the year, the way I currently am, sometimes situations & conditions don't allow me to do things like singing songs & putting on a great show the way I'd like.

Honestly, coming to this place was the result of continuous, violent fights.
However, I asked for you to excuse my ear, and I didn't want to show anything done halfway, but making compromise & giving something up was disagreeable to me.
I'm doing this myself since it was me who chose to continue singing.

I'm sure everyone has many many various worries that they're not showing alot of, saying "Ayu is OKAY!!! (*^_^*)" because they want to creat an environment where they can feel more relaxed.
So, this tour, until the end, to all my great friends and all my visitors, I want to send many many great memories one at a time.

Everyone, you are always the source of my power.

Thank you.
Thank you.

Thank you.

SPONICHI article - March 12, 2008

(caps from "Mezamashi TV"'s coverage of the hand-bra story, from hiroshi_ben at AHS)

Ayumi Hamasaki New Hand-Bra Shot

Ayumi Hamasaki has been photographed doing a hand-bra shot.

It is the jacket photo for her 10th Anniversary single, "Mirrorcle World" (to be released April 8th). This will be a turning-point year for Ayu, and this defines the start of it all. The photo was taken in February. It was shot during her trip to Paris to also film the promotional video, under strict rules that no boys were allowed.

In November, 1999, for the simultaneous release of the album "LOVEppears" and single "appears", Ayu's bustline was hidden with her hair, and the photos received alot of attention. Although it has been announced that the CD booklet will contain swimsuit photos and the like, this is the first time Ayu has done a hand-bra photo.

The promotional video includes 5 costume changes, including a daring corset. Also included, a dress weighing 20 kilograms - that's half ayu's total body weight. Running around in the dress was apparently "taxing on the body", but the work was finished.

Also, as an additional track on the single, two songs from ayu's debut year, "YOU" (June 1998) and "Depend on you" (December of that year), have been re-recorded. The CD will be released in two separate versions.

Old "A Song for XX" interview [incomplete]

Would you mind telling us the meaning of your album's title, "A Song for XX"

Ayu: The "A" in "A Song for XX" is both the "A" in Album, and the "A" in Ayu. As for the "XX", listeners can insert their favorite thing, the name of a person they care about, something like that. All that matters is that listeners imagine something there. Inside Ayu, there is only one meaning applied to the "XX". But, since everyone who listens will have different ideas as to who that song is about, I didn't want to limit the definition of "XX" by specifying its meaning to me, so listeners can themselves attach a meaning to it easily.

How long ago did you start recording the album?

Ayu: I started in September.

But before that, you were keeping busy releasing singles, yes?

Ayu: Yeah. We decided to release the 2 singles "For My Dear..." and "Depend on you" while recording, so those were recorded in parallel with the album.

Your schedule must have been busy, recording 16 songs for a work totalling an amazing 70 minutes.

Ayu: I was singing "For My Dear..." on TV, recording the album, then singing on TV again & again with "Depend on you". It was just singing, singing, singing every day, haha! So there are some songs where my voice got scratchy for a bit.

Though it seems you took the vocals seriously, wasn't it also a serious undertaking to write all the songs' lyrics?

Ayu: Is it really something to write that much? (lol)

Your album has a varied group of contributing songwriters that you got to meet. There are singles written by the likes of Yasuhiko Hoshino, songs by m.c.A.T and DA PUMP's producer, Akio Togashi, Mitsuru Igarashi of Every Little Thing, people like that.

Ayu: With Igarashi and Togashi, we didn't do the typical "Hajimemashite, yoroshiku onegaishimasu" thing, cuz we knew each other from before already, so working with them was easy. But I only had preconceptions of the other two, so for them there was pressure for me to write songs that didn't stink. So when they gave me the DAT tapes (demos of their melodies) I couldn't listen to them at first. Once I did, though, an image definitely formed in my head. There are people who listen to the compositions well enough before writing lyrics, but with Igarashi & Togashi's music, I had the basic melody memorized before doing any writing, and after that I wouldn't hear the music that I wrote the lyrics to until the day of recording.

Compared to interviews you did before your debut, now, you give the impression that you're more confident. Really, your growth & change this past year, your natural expressions & behavior, I'm thinking that came across in your lyrics & songs.

Ayu: I think so. I think alot has changed. A year ago, I didn't trust people, so I was bad at talking to people, and I kept my distance with a "wall" around me. But now, it's not that I can say "Ayu believes in you, so please believe in me too", that depends on the person, but now I've been able to trust those around me to the point where I can say "If I'm betrayed by you, then oh well". I think people have changed me.

Even so, after two months of singles, an album right after that, that's a very fast pace!

Ayu: Jumping into this world, releasing a single in each of two months, I did the album. Hurry hurry hurry, sometimes the daily grind would drag me down, haha. But after it was done, there were people who believed in it, and I think they supported me and I'm thankful for that. But I don't feel like I, myself, did my best. Everyone helped me do my best. That's how this album was made.

I'm sure producer Max Matsuura gave you alot of advice during recording. Could I ask you to share some of it with us?

Ayu: Although he was often sleeping, his mouth did open... haha! What am I going on about???? But, he said it'd be easy to sing once I went up there & did it. He said there are already people who know who I am, and they already think I can sing these songs, he thought I could write lyrics, and also that I could sing, and I WAS able to write the lyrics, because as my producer Max encouraged me. "Ayu can sing!" "Ayu can write lyrics!" "If it's you, then it can be done." He was able to say, "Ayu really can do it!" and that was the only way I could do it. That was how it started, he was the person who said "You can do this". Until then, in either junior high or high school, most adults around me would say "Don't bother doing anything, because you can't do it." I was changed by how this producer was treating me. When this person was recording, even if he was sleeping, even if he didn't say a word, I think he helped me perfectly, and I felt secure.

When you're around these types of people, it's more about the work you produce than your abilities. So were the songs & melodies chosen decided by you or the producers?

Ayu: The songs were sorta chosen by the producers. From a group of dozens of possible songs, the producers chose some, and I would narrow it down to the ones I wanted to do. Since the producers wanted to choose the tracks based on their lyrics, they left that to me. When I was done choosing them, the music flowed in such a way that it told a story about going from the present to the future. But it seems like the producer-types wouldn't let me do that because the song "Present" is at the end.


01 A Song for XX

When making the album, this was my #1 choice for the opening song. I always consider the melody in my head first, and once I know it then I write the lyrics, but this time, while I wrote the lyrics, I had the overall sound of the music in my head, but I couldn't write it. As I wrote the characters down the song became very real, but it took a long time to get started.
As for the lyrics, I looked back on things in my childhood and wrote about that, my questions and uneasiness during that time, and the theme of the song was those feelings. Because I am older now, if I wanted to hide then I can hide, and I feel bad for my past self, and now I can put that into prettier words. But I didn't want to write a lie, and probably if I did write lies, I wouldn't have made the album at all.


02 Hana

These are lyrics that I wrote looking at a flower in my home. I didn't want to just write down everything that came to mind, looking at the flower, listing off its qualities as it was. If you don't give a flower water, it'll wither, just like until now, I couldn't live unless I got people to help me, although being so dependent was horrible, I hated it. Very little of my life was powered by me, I thought I was a truly weak child.
But every flower starts with a bud, and if you look after it's bloomed, it's beautiful. At that time, I thought to myself, is the question "Since the flower knows that one day it'll fall apart, can it ever bloom into beauty?" or is it "Since it doesn't know right now when it'll fall apart, is it blooming beautifully?" Then, since, I surely knew I'd eventually fall apart, I knew I could bloom and be beautiful now. A child who assumes this can truly be strong. If I am a flower, with only about one week of life, turning deep black and withering is unacceptable. That's what I think, anyway. I know that even if I don't like myself right now, I'll bloom into a beautiful flower. Seeing that flower, I realized that worrying about such trivial things was nothing, it was tiny. So I wrote those thoughts down.


03 FRIEND

This was the coupling song on my debut single "poker face". It's shameful, it was just like "poof!" haha. If you listen to the album from the beginning, the voice behind this song is very different. But I sang this album with no real preparation. Since this song was recorded before "poker face", it really was the first song, and I had to do my best singing this song a huge lump in my throat. Whenever I hear the song I remember myself from that time and I'm filled with nostalgia, and I think it's kinda cute.


04 FRIEND II

This song's music & arrangement is by Mitsuru Igarashi from Every Little Thing. The fourth track is "FRIEND", and then "FRIEND II" is right after it. Although it's not really a "sequel" on its own, I was thinking about the same world in the song "FRIEND" when it was written, and I think that the song "FRIEND" is different in my mind now when I think of it. Over the past year, various things happened with various incredibly interesting people that I've met in my life up until now. So instead of calling it a sequel, it's one more "FRIEND", like "FRIEND (age 19)" and "FRIEND (age 20)" instead, haha!
But if I didn't have that intention from the beginning, if I had written the song without keeping the world view present in "FRIEND" in mind, I'm sure that the me of today wouldn't have been able to write the song as it is.


05 poker face

When I wrote "poker face" , I said, "Even if I can cry, and everyone is crying, I'm actually laughing". But I was probably the one crying the most, haha. I'm sure at the time I was extraordinarily lonely. So I was writing words like "I want to show strength" and "I want to be strong".
If I hear this song and my second single, "YOU", I'm reminded of clear glass. If you put glass in an important place in your home, it keeps the wind out, because it is thick and strong, and although you feel very protected, with that barrier there, one day you'll hear a crunching sound and your protection will break into pieces. These two songs have this image, something so delicate, but holding an unreliable strength.

06 Wishing

Since I'm not the type to easily be honest with people, I have a hard time making friends. But there are those who I can make friends with if I spend enough time with them, and I think perhaps around the time I recorded "YOU"...? I met a certain person and we became friends. "Wishing" is written for & addressed to this girl.
You could call her my best friend, but everyone thinks they're someone's best friend. I don't think I'd have been able to live without my friend. Personally, I think everyone needs a friend too. But you know, making your way through life can't depend solely on your friend or best friend or whoever. Or like, if it was a lover, even if we get married and spend our whole lives together. With a close friend, being together with you won't make me happy. I would wish for you to put your own happiness first, and that would be my happiness. That is what I was trying to say in this song.


07 YOU

I wrote this song around the same time as my debut song, "poker face", saying to myself, "In singing a song, I become a singer", something I'd just realized. "poker face" and this song, "YOU", I thought I could cure someone's problems, but now, I think around this time I think I was curing myself. That comes out in the lyrics - it was something I was very preoccupied with. I wasn't feeling well during recording and ran into some issues with my vocals. It was pretty difficult.


08 As if...

The music here was written by Kazuhito Kikuchi, who also did the music for "Depend on you." When I had not met with Kazu-bou yet, I was sure he'd be the type of man with a huge unkempt mustache grown. When I heard his name, that was the image that I had in my mind, haha! So even when I wrote the lyrics along to the music, I still had this image in my head of this unkempt mustache man, so I wrote something that went with that image. And so when I saw him, and he looked much more pleasant, my brain was still tainted by that image of him, hahaha! What I saw now was completely different from what I had imagined. So, since then he's let me call him "respectfully" Kazu-bou! XD
Although Kazu-bou did only 2 songs on the album, "Depend on you" and "As if...", I really like them alot. I'd poke him alot, "I love love love them, they're great!!" I'm sure Kazu-bou knows how highly I regard him.


09 POWDER SNOW

This is sort of the song that tore down & rebuilt the image of Ayu that's permeated the world. That image that said, "Ayu's songs are always positive, fresh, pleasant, and sunny" and "She sings songs to cheer you on & songs with messages". Naturally, there are those who do those songs, and do them very well, and I encourage them to do that, because I think that's amazing, but that's not all that Ayu can do. Even when I'm falling down, I worry about it by myself. I never make a peep about it, I try not to be a bother.
In "POWDER SNOW", I was trying to say that being positive isn't necessarily good, nor is being negative necessarily bad. They're just things to be. And I think that sometimes being alone & being worried are sometimes necessary.
From the song's quiet opening, it develops to a high point, rising gradually, making it a dramatic ballad. I participated in the production a bit, and though this album was my first time doing something like that, I offered ideas & opinions even until the very end, like "put the sound of a bell in there" since I thought the last guitar solo made the song too bright.


10 Trust

At the end of May, I was writing the lyrics in my Los Angeles hotel room, but I kept hearing a pounding or drumming noise, and it became impossible to write, I said to everyone, my producer & staff, "I need to go outside", and I invited them along, so we rode around & around in the car for about 4 hours, and it was in this time that I wrote "Trust". Saying nothing, all together in a car for all of four hours, the staff were warm and kind, and I think that was the only reason I was able to write the lyrics. Everyone was probably actually thinking "Are you done yet?"... hahahaha.
When the lyrics were done, I realized that at the last high point of the song, I used the phrase "shinjiru" ("believing") twice. I thought, "Ayu, with this song, is somehow changing" and "Ayu somehow found something to believe in". Using "shinjiru" twice made me glad but very surprised at myself. In the song's PV, we put the most importance on the story's first two segments. The producer said "Up until now, we haven't seen a very expressive ayu, so I want to see lots of expressive scenes," so I cry, I smile, I look angry... I think you can see many expressions from me in this video.

SPONICHI article - March 7, 2008

Ayu Releases Global Remix Album

Singer Ayumi Hamasaki (29) will be releasing her remix album on the 26th. This is her first work since she announced in January that she had lost the hearing in her left ear. Well-known DJs from various countries around the world have been tapped for the creation of remixes for hit songs, including "BLUE BIRD". Starting on the 12th, songs included on the newest album, "GUILTY", will be distributed to 25 different countries. To welcome the 10th Anniversary since Hamasaki's debut, she seems to have begun considering a move into the world market.

Her first since September 2003, this remix album, her 6th, will go on sale as two simultaneous editions, -GOLD- and -SILVER-. This 10th Anniversary is a turning point, seeing Hamasaki working with remixers such as Armand van Helden, who has remixed such American artists as The Rolling Stones and Britney Spears; French DJ Stephen Pompognac, who was DJ for the Academy Awards party; and other popular DJs notable from many countries globally.

The -GOLD- version features uptempo tracks, while -SILVER- includes more ballad styles. While "STEP you" has more of a bang, "HEAVEN" was done in a House style. Taking Hamasaki's ideas and hopes for the project into consideration, after a year of planning, six months were spent on production.

European and North American DJs, especially British and Canadian, are featured prominently on the remixes. While the past 5 works paved a nice road approaching this release, it is possible that preparation for an approach into the European and American market was taken into account. On the 12th, "GUILTY", which was sold on New Year's Day of this year, will be distributed to 25 world countries, tying Hamasaki as one of the Japanese Artists with the largest worldwide distribution. 19 of the 25 countries will be Western Nations.

For the video shoot for her 10th Anniversary single, "Mirrorcle World", Hamasaki went to Paris, where she was surrounded by about 80 fans in front of her hotel, greeting them with handshakes. Although in the west it's usually the Visual Kei rock bands that are popular, local fans who became familiar with Japanese music via the Internet knew Hamasaki well, whose reputation as "Japan's No.1 Artist" had spread.

Although Hamasaki's first Asia Tour, through Taiwan and Shanghai among other places, the West has offered to host Hamasaki performances, and all eyes are now on her possible worldwide future activities.

Thanks to Ayumiko at AHS for the original japanese article.

TeamAyu Message No. 210

Finally!!!!!!!!
No. 210 (date & timestamp ???)

It's being released, the ASIA TOUR DVD!!!!!

Finally, everyone gets the Asia Tour DVD!!!!!

This time, we were able to make it so you can watch the concert nonstop from Opening to Encore! Or also,
you'll be able to see clips inserted into the show
with lots & lots of scenes with the tour staff laughing,
crying, surprise situations ☆

The way you watch it up to you~~~~~ (^-^)v

And my recommendation is to watch...

First, watch the edited show from beginning to end.
Afterwards, when it's over, watch the inserted documentaries.
I think that way's goooood~~~~~...

Why has only this release taken so long to come out?

This, definitely, everyone should be able to understand
once you see the completed DVD.

I believe and hope so.

Look forward to it!!!!!!!!!!!!! (^-^) *kiss*

TeamAyu Message No. 209

Now then!!!
No. 209 01 Mar 2008 (Saturday) 9:28 AM

When I wrote before, I briefly mentioned one more new song.
All went well, and now I'm done recordiiiiinnng! \(^O^)/
I have very deep feelings about this song...
I wanted to sing it now, no matter what.

After very specifically defining all my thoughts to the recording staff, we recorded the song.
Because of that, I think it turned out really wonderful!!!
As for further details, maybe I'll be able to explain more to everyone after you've heard the song...
That's what I think anyway.

Incidentally, the song is called "Life".
It's a word I like very much.
It's a song whose theme ended up being "living"...
That's good enough to say for now.

It's a rather painful song, but a positive one too.

So anyway, changing the subject, soon Kaz is going to do the site renewal I'm sure. Silly man. (*^_^*)
I'm really looking forward to it Kaz!
Everyone, look forward to it toooo!!～∈^0^∋∈^0^∋∈^0^∋☆

TeamAyu Message No. 208

No. 208 Feb. 23, 2008 9:31 AM

"C'est bon."

I used French in the title, but the phrase means the english word "good", and it's been said quite often.........

Wait, huh?
Before I go into that, I'm back! Me, who hasn't really been saying anything. So now, even though I've kinda blown you off, and I've missed the right times when I could post, I'm gonna talk now. lol

So that "C'est bon", when you say the "bo", the amount of breath you use is pretty small, and I like how it sounds, and even now
it's still hot inside me.
So, that's what I made the title.

Ah, isn't that fun to say??? lol
But but but - change it to "C'est pas bon", and in english
that's "no good".

As for me, I like "C'est bon"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That said, sorry about that really looong introduction. m(__)m
Now, the main subject.

In Paris I was filming the PV for the new song "Mirrorcle World", and it seems that everyone already knew that I was filming the new song's PV there.
I'll leave out all the details though.
But yep, this trip to Paris was my second time in Europe this year.
(I'm leaving out too much.)

But since where I was staying was close to where the shoot was, fans (even kids) from the area all got together and came over to the hotel where I was staying.

And it was REALLY cold out, but every day no matter what they were kind enough to come out, [this part was hard for me to figure out - something about someone saying "okay!" and applause] But I did get to talk to them every now & then, in between shooting,

How come everyone knows these details about me? lol
I was like, AM I REALLY IN FRANCE??? (o_0;)
Really, everyone knowing about it surprised me
& even impressed me.

And also, every day the fans would sing songs like "Who..." and "Voyage" together, all in perfect japanese!!!
Isn't that AWESOME??????? It made me well up! (T_T)
However, the most surprising, was that on the day I went back to Japan, they all got together and sang in a huge chorus,

"Together When..." Oh. Wooooww....

That was all I could say.

"Arigatoutte~ i-itaka-a-taaaa~!
Arigatoutte~ i-enaka-a-taaa~!"
I heard their singing voices but I had to go away quickly, and I started on my way home feeling sad that I had to leave.
Merci! (*^_^*)

So, today I'm waiting to record yet another new song. Off I go! ヾ(^_^)

P.S.:
The PV is UBER-cool so look forward to it!
Of course both songs are very "C'est bon" so it's great!

Thanks to babamon and elekons at AHS (and their source, AyuChina) for the original text.

Cawaii! February '08 interview [text & scanlation]

Ayumi Hamasaki "GUILTY" Interview
Thursday, January 10th 2008
Cawaii! February Issue Cover Girl Ayumi Hamasaki
Interview conducted by Takako Tsuritani

On what's becoming a traditional New Year's Day, you've released your highly anticipated album. It has been named "GUILTY". This title can, of course, be interpreted various ways depending on the listener. However, you did away with the glamour, and did a bit of a self-examination. And since Ayu is Ayu, "GUILTY" is a "rebirth" rather than a new beginning, such a title fits very well.

I personally thought this was a good album. "Good" has several definitions, and all of them apply here. During the "MY STORY"/"(miss)understood"/"Secret" era, I had a habit of patting myself on the back alot, but it was a very different sense of accomplishment then. I reached a place with the same feelings as when I released, say, "Duty" and "LOVEppears" and such. Thinking & saying stuff like, "I've done well for myself", or, "This is good for me". The last few years' albums have simply had me feeling like "Everyone did a good job again this year", and every year I was able to finish up like that, but I didn't feel so secure in doing that this year. I could maybe now say that thinking of those years is rather painful... Which is to say, "We've improved." Up until "Secret", I had developed an admiration for those who were confident when responding to me. So while working on the album, I was thinking all kinds of things like, "This is what the album is being made for" and "This song from that era has this problem that we need to fix". But this time, even right until the end, I didn't get it. I never had any clear idea of what the finishing touch would be to make it just right. So it's true, when putting the music together to make just my usual album, I was surprised that I had, on my own, made a well-played-out story. "What is this?" I said (laughs). But the usual feeling I get when I finish an album wasn't there. Kinda like when I did "Duty", even when it was done I was excited, I was saying like, "Is it okay for me to speak so honestly & sharply like this?" or "Is it good that I'm being so honest about crying & getting angry?". Since I was so busy, like "let's go, let's go" all the time back then, I really didn't care. But now that that time is behind me, I've gotten really sensitive about it (laugh). The way I feel now is so completely different from the excitement from that time.

It's obvious that somewhere along the way from "MY STORY" to "SECRET", your life changed. How you appear to feel, what influences you, sympathy your fans feel for you, all that was different than it is now. This time, with "GUILTY", instead of sympathy, it's a message that really resonates. Even things inside you, conflicts & illusions, things being shouted from your heart that we never noticed before, we do now. Impulses that would have been ineffective before were stacking up and taking effect. That seems like something we would have seen in the "Duty" era.

I think that's true. When people asked how I felt about my past albums, I felt like the perfect response was "I'm very confident about my work". And while I did think they were wonderful albums, and I said so, my confidence in each work, from one to the other, would actually fade away & come back. If I was confident in myself, I'd get stronger, and so the "Hamasaki Ayumi" version of me would also get strong somehow, rather than being replaced by the "Ayu" version of me. Because of that, I wonder if there are many people who are learning about how I, "Hamasaki Ayumi", am really living. I think this album is coming from a part of me that's comfortable with sharing, although you can think of it as rooting from my fear of insecurity.

It's surprising to hear you say "fear of insecurity" for the first time in ages.

Naturally, I do want everyone to hear that, but I kinda don't want people to hear it, when I feel things like that. On the whole, it's a very dark sentiment. Strangely enough I didn't say things like "Let's keep working with courage & hope", because if I did I knew I'd be more nervous about it. It seemed like, "Would it be better to stay on target?". One after another, those feelings dropped away, it was like "kerplunk", and I'd only really care about it for a second. I'd be like "Is it okay for me to not ALWAYS be positive?" (laughs). Plus, I was always changing one more tiny thing, and it was like, okay this song sounds like this... you know. There were so many different kinds of music being used, I got to the point where it was all really hard to describe. It would seem like I couldn't figure out this one song, I'd want to hear it a million different ways, so that's what kind of album it turned out to be.

Ayu, you yourself said you were feeling "a shining change". What kind of effect will "GUILTY" have this year, while you celebrate your 10th anniversary?

"GUILTY" is a miracle. When I was starting it, there didn't seem to be any problems, honestly. But 2007 didn't give me much that helped in making the album. So if I forcibly created a seemingly uncreatable thing, how would it turn out? The result wouldn't have benefitted me, listeners who bought the album wouldn't be happy with it either, and all that after straining myself. So what would it be then? One day the reason why came to me... writing the music. It wasn't that I wanted to write, I HAD to write. I was able to do it when I told myself "I know it, I have to sing, I have to make this album." So then I managed to finish five songs in a single stretch of time. I thought this was a sign that I'd be able to make the album. But in the middle of making it, I stopped, because I started thinking again "This is impossible to do." My real self isn't usually the type to give up in the middle of something. Those instances, I'll say "Oh, so THIS is what's going on, huh?" and get very serious about it, just to kinda rebel against the situation. But this time I said to the staff, "I have to accept that this is impossible," and raised a white surrender flag. But although I raised it very decisively, I felt really horrible doing it. "No, I have to finish!" I said, and I took it back the very next day (laughs)! From that point on I was very strong about it & managed to finish it on schedule. With that, I realized that raising the white flag like that was just something not suitable for me. I found it very unpleasant. I thought of it like, "This is an absolute defeat."

The english word "GUILTY" means "yuuzai" in japanese. In regards to that, you said only "Although that is the title I attached myself to, that is, myself up until & including this moment, I'm not going to say that guilt has been my way of life." But do you think there's any such thing as an "innocent" human being? Say innocence does exist. If someone is hurt, would it be a virtuous thing to tell a lie in order to fix it? If someone commits one or two small sins, should people pay any mind?

I do feel that guilt hasn't been my way of life, but then again I haven't gone through life doing what you'd call bad things. Even while writing & singing I was thinking of that. Chances are, most people's sins are minor if any, and we'll lie about being happy or sad. But all it is really, is that we have to keep on living, and it is for that reason that we occasionally do some minor bad things.

Although for those who hear it, "Secret" seems to be, with its songs, a work like an infinitely looping movie, "GUILTY" seems, from the first song to the last, like a perfect three-act play. Even if one piece of music is removed, the feeling doesn't change. And so, it's a dynamic album, saying "despite that...", it's like a brand-new clean slate that echoes... Is this maybe the "way of life" that ayu said, is ayu entrusting us with that thought?

If you wanna call it a new thing, I cried when I heard GUILTY for the first time. Just to let you know, I'm not someone who listens to their own music. When I finish making the music, I'm very calm & objective, and I decide to either think "this time I went into the singing seriously", or to run from it. But this time I didn't give myself that decision, and it was unbelievable how much I cried. I had to stop listening to it for awhile, truthfully I couldn't just listen to it straight to the end in one shot. But in the middle of the album I felt differently (laughs). And if I listen to it again, I definitely believe I'll be thinking "Life is really wonderful!" And it really is.